Posted by: Lynn McMonigal on: July 23, 2009
So you all heard about Laura and Joey, right? Of course you did. After all, their “perfect love story” (puke, puke) made it into a book.
Well, what about me, huh? Am I any less important? I mean, it is because of me that Laura and Joey met after all. And my husband is one of the few—OK, so maybe the only one—who believed those two had a chance at happiness. Does our love story matter any less just because it is not as romantic? I think it is plenty romantic. More romantic than anything else in my life ever was. Besides, it takes more than just a bit of romance to make a marriage last like ours has.
And it has lasted for more than half a decade. Seven full years of wedded bliss. You may not think that is much, but when you look at my dating history, you’ll understand the big accomplishment. Before I met Toby, I hadn’t found a man I wanted to spend more than five weeks with, let alone five years. Who am I kidding? I never found a man I wanted to spend more than five days with! I mean, I had shoes that lasted longer than many of my relationships did.
And I bought at least one pair of new shoes every week.
Toby and I are still in love. Can every married woman say that after seven years? We’ve been through a lot together. We are parents—which brings any relationship to a whole different level. My own parents split up before my first birthday. Mom always said the way to know if a man truly loves you if he sticks around through the puking and dirty diapers. Toby not only stuck around, he did more than his share (especially with all the puking our oldest daughter did on him—every time he picked her up, I kid you not). Our baby girl, Belle, isn’t quite a year old. She has a rough road in front of her. Down’s syndrome pretty much guarantees that normal for Belle will be a lot different than for her big brother and sister. It has also brought a new sense of normal to our lives. And a new definition of love.
I’ll never forget the day the doctor told us, three months before she was born, that something was wrong with Belle. He suggested aborting the baby. Toby just squeezed my hand and told that doctor it didn’t matter what he said was wrong, “our little girl is perfect and loved.” I knew he wasn’t going to leave me or her. My love for him has only grown since that day.
But, that’s not at all romantic, right? At least, not romantic enough for its own book. I mean, who really wants to read about a couple of anti-abortion activists? Even if one of them does take the stage 5 nights a week, in a different city across the country, singing to millions of women. It’s not like what he says can really make a difference.
Right?
Posted by: Lynn McMonigal on: May 26, 2009
Now it’s official and I am so excited!
Today is the day that Summertime, the novel Lynn McMonigal wrote about my life, is finally available for sale. It’s about time, too!! Barrett has been jumping around, dying to be able to tell everyone out the book. I don’t know if she is more excited about the things that have happened in our lives or just the fact that someone chose to put her in a book. Whatever the reason, I am really grateful that Lynn has helped make my little girl so happy.
When Lynn started writing this book, I was a bit nervous. Oh, believe me it is an honor to have someone write out my life story, and I knew Lynn could do a good job of it. (If I didn’t believe in her, I would never have taken up residence in her head!) What made me nervous was the way she thought about my story as a romance. A love story, I was comfortable with that label. After all, the story is about the love Joey and I have shared through the years. But romance?
Gosh, that word brings a completely different image to mind! It makes me think of those books with a half-naked man and woman on the cover. You know, the ones where it doesn’t take long until they are completely naked. And that is not the kind of story I wanted to tell. Sure, Joey and I had that sort of relationship once. Though it felt so good and so right–and it resulted in our precious Barrett–I am so ashamed of it now. It’s not all the way God wanted me to enjoy Joey’s love. We went way overboard. I wasn’t sure I wanted Lynn to tell that part.
But as we worked together, Lynn helped me to realize something. When I first met Joey, I was not a Christian. I was living outside of God’s will, and nearly everything I did went against Him in some way. After Barrett was born, when I wandered into a church and allowed Christ to really work in me, all that changed. I asked forgiveness, and it was granted. God has forgotten my sins. He isn’t holding them over my head, so I shouldn’t beat myself up over them, either.
Sharing my story, and even talking about the mistakes of the past, is something that I hope will help someone else. I hope someone reads my story and realizes that no matter how unforgiveable you think you are, God can forgive as long as you ask.
Posted by: Lynn McMonigal on: May 26, 2009
I can’t get that summer out of my mind. No matter where I go or what I do or who I meet, the memories are still there, playing like a movie in my head. My friends rag on me relentlessly about it. Especially Eddie. He doesn’t know how I could let some chick affect me like this.
He doesn’t get it. Laura isn’t just “some chick”. She was my life that summer. Man, I loved that girl.
Oh, who am I kidding? It’s not that I loved her that is the problem. It is that I still love her. And even loving her wouldn’t be such a problem if I didn’t see her everywhere I go.
I know it’s not really Laura. half the time, I think I must be hallucinating or something. I turn my head, and I can see her face–those blue-green eyes staring at me, her brown hair blwoing in the wind. Sometimes I can hear her laugh. Oh, but I miss that sound. I miss making her laugh, seeing her smile. I even miss hearing her snore. She has such a cute snore. Very loud, but cute. It’s all part of who she is.
I just miss HER.
Pathetic, right? It’s been 10 years, more or less. And she walked out on me. Yeah, OK, so I got way too upset about a little thing. I just needed a little time away, some space to clear my head. When I came home that night, she was gone. And all of her stuff was gone. It was like all traces of her had been erased from our home. The only thing she left was a laoptop, one picture of the two of us, and her house key.
Knowing she was gone for good was like a dagger in my heart. Actually, I think I would have preferred the dagger.
The pain would have been over faster.
Posted by: Lynn McMonigal on: May 3, 2009
I am so not a bad person. Laura might tell you something different, but you can’t believe everything out of her mouth. After all, she is a journalist. And no one can twist the truth like a journalist.
Well, no one but a politician. But I don’t want to go there. Laura is good at telling everyone that am opinionated. If I get talking about politics, I’ll prove her right.
And though I love her dearly, I don’t like to say that Laura is right about anything!
We met about a week before classes started our freshman year at Princeton. I was not at all happy when I walked into my dorm room and saw Laura sitting there. The first thing I did was call my Daddy. “You promised me a private room!” I’d told him. Well, that is what I had shouted into his voicemail. He wasn’t answering his phone. Not surprising, really. He hadn’t even been able to take one day off work to help his daughter—his only child, I should tell you—move to college. Mom was out shopping, which is where I would rather have been. I had just graduated from high school. The last thing I wanted to do was start up at another school. But Daddy had ignored my pleas to take a year off school to travel Europe. Actually, he had bribed me to give up that idea with a private room at Princeton. So when I walked into the room and saw Laura unpacking, I was less than happy about it.
Not that Laura cared. She never cared much for what anyone had to say. Well, anyone outside of her family, anyway. That’s why I was so surprised by what happened with Joey and Laura. She listened to what everyone around her thought, believed their opinions, and then acted on those opinions. She didn’t do what she wanted, she just did what she thought others wanted.
Idiot.
I love her and all. I mean, she is my best friend and even in the years when we didn’t speak she was the only one that I wanted to share my joys and heartaches with. But the girl can be the biggest idiot sometimes.
Still, she is the one who brought true love into my life. Would I have met Taylor without Laura’s friendship? Who knows. But I am sure I would not have met him when I did without her. Oh, and Taylor has been the best thing to happen to me. Gosh, when I met Laura I was happily jumping from one man to another, never going out with the same one for more than a month. For the four years we were roommates I did the same thing. I even tried to get Laura to date as much as I did. Ironic, isn’t it? Instead of getting her to experience the variety of men this life has to offer, she introduced me to the only man who could have interested me in monogamy.
And I don’t think I have ever thanked her for that.
Crystal Waters
Posted by: Lynn McMonigal on: May 1, 2009
Summer is my favorite time of the year. Sunshine, blue skies, gentle breezes. All those things added together make for a very magical time. Anything can happen in the summer. Anything is possible.
Of course, my love of the season could stem from my parents. Mom and Dad were killed in a car accident when I was 12 years old. They had left my 8-year-old sister, Erin, and me with Mom’s parents while they went to Lansing for a weekend. They were driving South along US 127, heading home on Sunday night. There was a snow storm, pretty normal here in Michigan winters. My dad was a good driver, and was taking his time on the highway. Not everyone else was doing the same thing, though. One particular driver had been drinking too much. Add that to the ice and the speed the car was traveling, and you have a recipe for disaster. My parents’ car was hit so hard that it flipped in the air, flew across the median, and landed in the northbound lanes. The impact killed them both, though no one could say if it was the initial impact or the impact of a northbound car that did it.
I can say that the pictures of their car and the memories of their funeral kept me from wanting to ever drink.
Nana and Papa, Mom’s parents, took Erin and me in. It didn’t seem fair for them to have to do it. They should have been planning for their retirement and spoiling their grandchildren. Instead, Papa kept working while Nana stayed home for us. I appreciate what they have done for me more than I can say.
I worked hard in school, graduating from Grass Lake High near the top of my class in 1994. From there, I went on to Princeton. That is when my life really got interesting! The first person I met there was Crystal Waters. It’s impossible to not have an interesting time in college with a roommate like Crystal!
Laura Bell
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